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- Jose Bosque
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There is probably no greater weakness in this 21st century society than the lack of real relationships. Whether we are talking in the church or out of the church this powerful self-centered principality has locked on like super glue to the hearts of this generation. It is very necessary to understand the importance our Creator placed on REAL RELATIONSHIPS and how they work to foster healthy lifestyles. Without them we are just like animals.
In the coming days as conditions worsen in our political and economic spheres every relationship will be tested. In the hustle and bustle of this society many times these plastic people operate under most people’s radar but when the stuff hits the fan they will stick out like sore thumbs.
In this society we use plastic as a cheap alternative for many things. It is fitting that cheap relationships be labeled as “plastic”. While I have written this in an all male format more than ever today these folk can be found in both sexes.
For what is it worth here is a short list of some plastic relationships;
Mr. In & Outer- This person is relationally bipolar- As the old Indian would say he “speaks with a forked tongue.” You never know what to expect and if you depend on him he will leave you when you least expect it. When he is near you would think he is your long lost brother but when he disappears he really disappears. These people have trust issues and need lots of healing.
Mr. Just when Needed- There person has a short term need. He knows what he is doing but has lost all sense of shame. He needs something you have and the day you can no longer provide that he will leave you. This person lives with an entitlement mindset. They think they deserve it based on the laws of the jungle or only the strong survive. Most of our young adult society can be found here. ( 15-35 years old)
The Skimmer- all his relationships are shallow. A true dysfunctional because he doesn’t know he is like this. Usually this person was raised in an orphanage like home or atmosphere and they carry the personality of an orphan. This person has serious Father- Son issues and will also carry them into their shallow Christian walk. This person needs loving intervention and until that happens they will be unable to go any deeper in their relationships.
The Player- This is the official user of the bunch. This person always keeps several relationships going at the same time. In ministry they will have several church memberships. Has the ability to appear to be part of the team when in your presence. This person has no problem balancing the multiple “plastic” relationships in their life with their lies. This person’s lifestyle hurts many people.
Mr. Agenda- This guy is probably the craftiest of all the plastic people. He is all in for the long haul. He has an agenda but you would never know it. This person has realized that to achieve what they want they need to be near you. They appear to be hard workers but you can catch their real motives because they always do a chameleon and change when you are not around. They are man pleasers and they only give eye–service to situations. They will not get along with the team because only you have what they want. There is no love in their shameful game. There eye is on the prize and you hold the key. You will find many greedy people using this plastic persona.
These are just five plastic relationship types but there are many more and variations of all the above. So you say; “So what? let people be people” and herein lies the problem. As darkness increases in the land it is important that we remember the Lord Jesus words;
Matt 10:16 "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
Prov 12:26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Prov 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
The Word warns us for the sake of our spiritual and physical health so we are able to continue to advance His Kingdom in this day and age. In the coming years only the wise will have success and victory in their life.
Before we conclude I want to share three traits of real relationships as something to compare to when we are looking for examples to follow.
1. The Real Relationship will always have your back. They are not afraid to go all in with you. Your blessing is their blessing and vice versa. This is the test of a real leader and spiritual father. See verses below;
Philem 17 If then you count me as a partner, receive him as you would me. 18 But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account.
2 Cor 12:14-15 Now for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will not be burdensome to you; for I do not seek yours, but you. For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. 15 And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.
2. The Real Relationship is not hindered by inconvenience and difficult circumstances in your life. They are not fair-weather friends but as the bible says;
Prov 17:17 A friend loves at all times, And a (spiritual) brother is born for adversity.
2 Tim 1:16 The Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain; 17 but when he arrived in Rome, he sought me out very zealously and found me.
3. The Real Relationship is moved by love. Time and trust moves it from a place of simple acquaintance to real family. I know that the definitions of words like love and family have eroded in this society so I will redefine them. Love doesn’t begin until the person you love cannot repay you and family is the bond of unity that erases all differences and makes us one in Him.
Paul and Timothy began as ministerial co-workers and ended up as family. Read Paul’s words;
Phil 2:19-23 But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state. 20 For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state. 21 For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus. 22 But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel.
Prayer: Lord, help us to be REAL friends. Help us to foster healthy relationships and to be an example of the real thing to others. Help us to forgive those who have wounded us and give us a discerning spirit so I will not give ourselves to the false plastic relationships that abound in this generation. Keep us FATHER by your Holy Spirit! AMEN!
Your comments are welcomed below,
For the love of His Name,
Jose L. Bosque